Chasing Memories Part I: The Beginning
by loveforeverS2
Summary: New member comes in as a cold case emerges back. She has mysterious background that's mostly classified. BAU team seems to be her friends yet don't know her past except for Hotch n Rossi OFC! No pairing yet! Only part I of the series I'm working on
1. Chapter 1

_Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment_

~ Will Rogers

"Hotch" Morgan knocked on the office door.

"Yes?" Hotch answered without looking up from the paper work he was doing.

"..." Morgan walked in without saying anything but put down the brown folder. Hotch finally looked up from his paper work with confused face. He opened up the folder and paused.

"He is back. Two bodies turned up with his signature" before Morgan finished Hotch pulled his phone out and bolted toward the door.

"Get everyone to conference room" Hotch ordered. Morgan nodded and walked out.

"Hey, you have a phone call" a guy walked toward one of SWAT members with phone.

"I'm about to go in. Tell them I'm busy" a girl turned around as she put ear piece and helmet on.

"He says, he is SSA Hotchner from FBI BAU."

"Hotchner? BAU?" she asked back and he just shrugged. She snatched the phone from his hand.

"Hello? Aaron? Hey, I'm working. Can you... What? Wait, wait..." her face darkened as she listened.

"Hey, we are going in" another SWAT member came up to her.

"Go in. I'm getting called in by people up the chain. Ryan takes my place while I'm away, okay?" She said as she hung up the phone.

"Huh?" He asked.

"Just do it" she took off her ear piece and charged away.

"A week ago, a girl name Sam Griff, 29 years old, waitress at diner, was found dead in her apartment. She was tortured before killed. There were multiple stab wounds and burnt marks. Cause of death is exsanguination" JJ clicked the remote and screen flipped to another picture. "Three days ago, another girl name Xiao Lee, 27 years old, school teacher, was found at her house. She was killed little differently. More chaotic." Morgan continued.

"This case sounds familiar" Rossi pointed out.

"It's the serial killer around upstate New York. On March of 11 years ago, first victims came up. He started with this family. Father, mother and a daughter of the Lawson family. Seong-An Kim, mother, 42. Steven Lawson, father, 44. Haley Lawson, 27, daughter. They all died after being tortured brutally. Unsub also killed three of his partners after killing the family. Ever since than he had been working alone.

"Few weeks later, another victims were found. Joyce Walden, 37 years old, desk worker at City Water company. Daughter, Alex Walden, 16 years old, High Schooler. They were both found dead in same ways. 26 more people came up dead the same way and suddenly, he vanished" Hotch explained.

"Are you sure, it's a same Unsub?" Rossi asked.

"He left a card. Just like he did 11 years ago. After first victim, he left a card." JJ clicked the remote again and picture of the card came up. On the card, there was three triangles on top of each others like pyramid with eye on the middle.

"Maybe we can ask the survivor?" Morgan said as he flipped through the file.

"Survivor?" Garcia asked.

"Well, it says here that the youngest of Lawson family survived. There was no sign of torture on her. She escaped with only gun shot wound on her shoulder. She said she witnessed the crime" he shrugged.

"Oh, then I will try to find her" Garcia answered.

When they came out of the conference room, they saw a girl sitting in front of Hotch's office. She looked up immediately at the sound of the team walking out.

"Hotch. You better have a good reason to pull me out of the work like that" she said with pout. She was only up to Hotch's shoulder, perhaps little shorter than that.

"Hey, doll. What are you doing here?" Morgan came up to her and gave her a friendly pat on her shoulder.

"Hey, Morgan. Sorry, I wasn't able to stop by recently" her eyes flashed brightly as she punched lightly on Morgan's shoulder. Morgan ruffled her hair. She smiled. "Is Garcia around? I feel so bad I haven't been able to talk to her. I have been super busy recen- OOF!"

"Oh my god, Lily!" She got attacked by red hair suddenly.

"Hello, Garcia" Garcia and Lily was about same height.

"How have you been, sugar! I have missed you so much! You are a bad bad girl for not contacting me for so long!" Garcia started to pat Lily's hair, and face. Lily peeked around Garcia's shoulder and found Reid standing there confused.

"Hello Dr. Reid" She just nodded toward him politely. Reid nodded back awkwardly.

"Lily, there's something we need to talk about" Hotch walked up and grabbed girl's arm. She gave him a confused look and they walked into Hotch's office.

"Morgan, who is that?" Reid asked.

"She came up here several times to meet Hotch. You don't remember? She was close with Prentiss, too"

"Does everyone know her, except for me?" Reid complained. Morgan flashed _oh-my-god-Reid_ smile as he shook his head.

"I don't think I know her. She looks awfully familiar though." Rossi suddenly appeared behind them.

"She hasn't been up here for quiet a while, but you might have seen her before" Morgan shrugged.

Lily followed Aaron into his office. It had been a while since she saw Aaron. _Had it been a month? two months?_ She shrugged the thought out of her head. It doesn't matter. She was here to see him, though it was Aaron who called her in from the work. It was unusual but not first time he did. He had been doing that often before, but not recently.

Lily closed the door behind her as Aaron leaned against his table. When she turned around to face him, he gestured her to sit down. He looked stressed.

Lily tilted her head a little and went to sit down on the chair.

"What's wrong? Weren't you calling to follow up on how I was doing? Though it was awfully un-professional to call me at work and tell me just to get here as fast as I could." She smiled and rolled her eyes "You almost upset me, and you know how hard to upset me, especially if it's you who is trying." she swung her legs back and forth. "You better not do that again. You know that I'm-"

"Lily" Aaron raised his had and stopped her. He pinched between his eyes and sighed.

"...This isn't about checking up on how I'm doing?" She stopped swinging her legs. Some part of her knew the answer to that question already but she didn't want to hear it. Aaron sighed. There was a short silence between them but to her, it felt like hours until Aaron opened his mouth. She stared at his mouth hoping something other than what's in her head would come out.

"Lily, I think he is back" he finally said it. She could feel her breath caught in her chest. Her heart felt like it was getting squeezed out. Image of people getting stabbed passed by in front of her. Someone's scream rang her ears and she realized it was her voice.

"NO!" She jumped out of the chair. She suddenly felt sick. Room started swirling around her. She stumbled back until she felt book case behind her. She covered her face trying to get the image out of her head.

"Lily, listen. I need you to stay with us during this investigation. I already told the Strauss about this. She agreed, but we have to keep 'that' secret from team. You know that right?" Aaron touched her arms gently as he spoke. She was breathing heavily, in pain. He bent down to see her face to check if she was crying but she wasn't. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yes" she answered after taking few deep breath. Her face was cold and composed. Aaron felt pain in his chest as he saw her like this. She was finally starting to open up little by little. It has been only a year since she actually started to smile. It was still not the smile from bottom of her heart but it was a smile. However, the face he saw right now was the face he saw when she swore to him that she will catch her family's killer. He wanted to hold her but she wasn't a little kid who needed him like back then. He just stood there and watch the little girl who was being haunted by a killer just like he was being haunted by Foyet before.

"Everything alright?" Morgan asked as Lily and Hotch walked out of the office.

"Yeah. Rossi, this is Lily. She is one of Captains of SWAT teams. She will be working with us in this case. I assume everyone else knows her." Hotch introduced Lily as he put his hand gently on her back. She seemed bit broken up but much better than how she was in office.

_For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are there 'It might have been'_

_~John Greenleaf Whittier_


	2. Chapter 2

_In three words I can sum up what I've learned about life: it goes on._

_~Robert Frost_

They were on their way to the crime site when Garcia called.

"Garcia?" Hotch answered the phone.

"Sir, I have looked into the information about Hannah Lawson." Garcia's voice echoed inside the van.

"Go on," Hotch glanced at Lily through room mirror and asked.

"Well... She is dead." Garcia answered carefully.

"What? dead? How?" Morgan asked frustrated.

"According to the record, she was hospitalized due to her shoulder injury. Three months after she got released, sh-she committed suicide. She, um, overdosed and, oh my god... and slit her wrist in the tub. One of the polices who was assigned to watch over her fou-found and rushed her to hospital but..." Garcia stuttered.

"There goes our only way to find out if this case is linked" Morgan sighed. "Thank you Garcia"

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the crime site, Lily didn't get out of the car. Hotch told everyone to give her some time to adjust to new environment but made Reid stay behind with her just in case.<p>

Young agent fiddled around with his fingers. He wasn't sure whether he should start a conversation or not. Lily just looked out the window without a word. He studied her carefully. When he first just briefly looked at her at the station, she looked like a normal Asian. However, in the car where he could observe more, he noticed she had pale white skin and contrasting thin red lips. Yet, her hair was dark black. It was so black that even the light could not make it look brownish. His eyes slowly surveyed downward. She seem to have body shape of typical American rather than Asian.

"I thought there was a silent rule about not profiling coworkers."

"Wha-What?" Reid jumped. She was looking directly at startled genius. "No, I wasn't profiling you. Uh, I was just..Uh, you know looking at you, thinking that you don't look that much Asian. I mean, did you know that, Asian people usually have flat body frame compare to, uh, Caucasian women? Caucasian women usually have more hour glass shaped body. Though it is very stereotypical to say that now a day, because there are a lot of exceptions and crossed race marriage. Not to mention, now a day do a lot of surgery. So, uh, what I'm trying to say is that your..."

Reid's eyes involuntarily traveled downward looking at inappropriate parts. Lily raised her eye brows. Then young agent suddenly noticed how awkward he sounds and turned bright red. They stared at each other for a few second and Lily burst out laughing. Reid relaxed a little as he heard her laugh.

"Yes, . I'm not just an Asian. I'm mixed. My father was a Caucasian, not sure what kind of European bloods are mixed, but my mom is full Korean. That's why I don't look like stereotypical Asian." She smiled at Reid as she explained. "So you weren't profiling me" That wasn't a question.

"No." Nevertheless Reid answered. "I was also thinking... I though there was no actual position of 'Captain' in SWAT?"

"No, there isn't. I'm the SWAT leader. My team just call me captain instead of calling my name." She shrugged.

"Oh..."

"So how come you are not inside the house with them?" She shifted her position toward young agent. He debate for short time if it is okay to tell her truth. It didn't seem like it was a big deal.

"Hotch told me to stay with you just in case" he said the truth.

"Just in case..." she said to herself, rolling her eyes and snort with smile. "Typical Hotch"

Something has been bothering Reid ever since he saw her at the station. He was aching for answer and this seemed like right timing to ask.

"Um... May I ask how you two met?"

"What?"

"I mean... How do you know each other? When I heard you were SWAT, I first guessed that you and Hotch was on same team when he was SWAT but then you look too young" Reid explained, and wondered at the same time why he was explaining all this. Lily laughed again at young agent's nervousness.

"I look too young? How old do you think I am?" she asked instead of answering his question.

"You didn't answer my question"

"Nope, that I didn't" she pointed out teasingly "Will you answer MY question if I answer yours?"

Reid thought about a little with suspicion. When it seemed like there was no trick he nodded.

"Okay. Aaron-well, Hotch and I met because of one of the case he was in when he just joined BAU. He was newbie back then. I was a high school senior ready to go college then... Unsub took my family. Hotch, being softy as usual, took care of me ever since that case." She explained briefly.

"Softy?" Reid asked surprised.

"That was wrong choice of word, but I think you get what I'm trying to say. He might look cold and stern outside but he is very sensitive emotional person who cares a lot inside." She shrugged. "Now your turn. How old do you think I am?"

"Well... To be honest you look like you are 20. However, Hotch said you were one of Captain of SWAT, which mean you have to be at least mid to late 30's?" She laughed again. This time Reid smile shyly and shrugged.

"I'm 31. I graduated college with criminal justice major at age 22 and from FBI academy at age 23. I worked as special agent at CID for a while but switch my career. I became SWAT member at 25 and leader last year."

"31? Wa-wow, you are around my age?"

"Supposedly" She shrugged. Reid frowned at her choice of word. _Supposedly_? _Was she implying something else?_ He wanted to ask but before he could even try, someone knocked on the Lily's side window. She jumped and almost fell off the chair. She turned around to see who it was. Reid noticed her hand immediately jumped toward her gun.

It was Hotch.

"Lily, I know this is going to be hard for you, but I need you go check on bodies with Reid" He said softly. Reid raised his eyebrow as he sense the tenderness in Hotch's voice.

_My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot_

_~Ashleigh Brilliant_


	3. Chapter 3

_It would be a great thing to understand Pain in all its meanings_

_~Peter Mere_

Reid could see that Lily was nervous entire time while they were driving to see dead bodies. She kept twirling her long curly hair and kept her eyes on the road.

"You okay?" Reid glanced at her shortly.

"Yeah, I'm fine why?" She answered, perhaps too soon.

"You look... nervous"

"No, I'm fine"

"..."

"..."

"You should have told Hotch, if you are unsure about seeing dead bodies."

"What?" She finally got her eyes off of road.

"I mean tha-that's why your nervous, right?" Reid suddenly wasn't sure of himself.

"Oh... no. I saw plenty of dead bodies. I guess it's part of being SWAT. It's just... there's something about these bodies that I am afraid to see"

"You should have told Hotch about that" He said again. Now, he was nervous. He has no idea what will happen when she sees the bodies.

"Hotch would still made me go see them." she snorted.

"I feel sorry for these girls" medical examiner said as he lead the way. "They have suffered a lot before they finally died. They have at least 20 to 30 stab wounds all non-lethal and burnt mark. C.O.D. is exanguination."

"..." Lily bit her lips as they approached they bodies. She stood in front of the covered bodies.

"Hey, do you want to wait outside? You look uh, horrible." Reid bent to look at her face.

"No. Hotch told me to look at them" she stroke herself on the shoulder absentmindedly. Medical examiner stared at them for a second. Lily waited for a while, then noticed that medical examiner was looking at her. She gulped and finally nodded. He carefully uncovered both of the bodies.

Lily gasped and stumbled backward a little. She stopped when her back ran into table. She felt light headed.

"Are you okay?" Lily flinched when she felt someone hand on her shoulder, the one she was just stroking. It was Reid's hand. She noticed that she was holding her breath. She carefully breathed out and nodded.

"This is definitely the same killer from 11 years ago. Wounds match exactly" She stood up straight and smoothed her clothes. "Were you able to identify what kind of weapon was used?" She asked the medical examiner.

"Looking at how deep the wounds are and other stuff, it was pretty big knife. My guess would be hunting knife." He shrugged.

"Hunting knife..." She whispered to herself as she stared at the bodies. Reid noticed some emotions flickering pass momentarily. He wasn't sure what it was but there was something sad about it.

"You know this case?" Reid frowned. She ignored him. She pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Hotch. Yes, they are definitely same. No mistake. Mm-hm...'kay." she hung up the phone and headed out without even glancing toward young genius. He followed behind Lily hurriedly.

* * *

><p>Hotch hung up the phone and looked at Morgan.<p>

"They saw the bodies?" Morgan asked.

"Yes, this is definitely the same guy" Hotch frowned.

"Are you sure? Is he really back?"

"Yes, Lily identified them" Hotch said firmly. Morgan raised his eyebrow in suspicion. "She. Identified. Them." Hotch repeated. Morgan raised his hand backing up a little bit.

* * *

><p>"Lily. Lily! LILY!" Reid was almost running trying to catch up with Lily.<p>

"What?" She barked, turning around violently, almost smacked Reid on his chest. _She IS short..._ He thought for a moment but shook the thought out of his head.

"Are you okay?" Young worried agent asked. Lily rubbed her forehead as wrinkle on her forehead deepened. She sighed and nodded.

"It's just really hard to believe that he is back" she whispered.

"You know about unsub?" Young agent frowned.

"No, I mean... Yes... Sort of. This case is one of the cases that I worked with Aaron" Young agent eyebrow rose when she said _Aaron. _Not _Hotch,_ but _Aaron. _"I have seen and studied the victims' bodies 11 years ago." She turned around and started walking toward parking lot. Reid followed her in silence.

* * *

><p>They arrived at bullpen. Hotch and Morgan were waiting for them.<p>

"Rossi and JJ are not back from talking to victims' family" Morgan said as Lily and Reid approached them. Reid headed to map and marked where all the murders happened. Hotch sat next to Lily and quietly looked over the file with Morgan.

"Hey" Lily looked up and saw Morgan looking at her. "Are you okay?" she swallowed hard and nodded. Morgan stretched his hand across the table and covered her hand with his. She didn't notice that she was shaking. She cracked a awkward smile to assure Morgan she was okay. Morgan opened his mouth to say something but Rossi and JJ walked in.

"How'd go?" Hotch asked.

"They are all shocked and shaken up but we couldn't find anything common" JJ sighed.

"Just like before." Rossi murmured. JJ quietly went next to Lily and rest her hand on Lily's shoulder.

"I heard you were friend with Sam" Reid paused and glanced over his shoulder at what JJ said. Lily just nodded.

"I'm sorry" she rubbed Lily's back soothingly.

"Wait, one of the victims was her friends and you sent her to look at the bodies?" Morgan almost barked out as he glared at Hotch.

"..." Hotch didn't respond and just kept reading the file.

"Morgan. I'm fine. It's not like it is first time I saw dead bodies of my friends. It comes with being SWAT." she smiled weakly. Hotch stood up silently. He walked toward the map quietly with his arms crossed on his chest. He stood there for a while and turned around.

"Lily is one of people who can identify whether it is from same unsub. She was involved in this case unofficially long time ago" Hotch explained.

"What? But she must have been only 20. She wasn't not even in FBI Academy back then." JJ stated.

"Yes, that's why she was involved _unofficially_. She knows all about his signature, his M.O., and victims, possibly more than what we know." Hotch rubbed his forehead.

"_Unofficially?" _Morgan raised his eyebrows. "Why is it that most of your life is _classified_ or _unofficial?_"

"You know better than that to ask me. I can't tell you those information" Lily shrugged. Reid frowned. _Her life is mostly classified or unofficial? What?_

"Okay, but I get why Hotch wants you to stay with us. You can help us with this case and you need to be protected just in case unsub tries to get rid of you" Morgan sighed. Rossi stood there in silence just listening to the conversations. Hotch saw Rossi raising his eyebrow in suspicion when their eyes met.

"I want her to look into the every informations relating to this case. She might be able to see the pattern or clue leading to unsub." Hotch said as he walked toward Rossi. Rossi got the message and followed Hotch to his office.

"_Unofficially involved? Classified?"_ Rossi blurted out even before Hotch closed the door. "Her name is NOT Lily, right?" Hotch rubbed his forehead again. "AND that girl did NOT die, right? I remember that case Hotch. I WAS in that case! We were in that case together! I knew I recognized her!"

"Dave, please. We have to keep this low. It's for her safety."

"You need to tell the team at some point."

"I might, I might not. But not right now. They don't need to know now."

"It is important information to solve this case!"

"We can't risk her life!"

"We? I think you meant 'I'" Hotch glared at Rossi. "I highly doubt that she agrees with you at that" They stood in silence and suddenly Rossi stormed out of the office.

_A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future._

_~Author Unknown_


	4. Chapter 4

_An involuntary return to the point of departure is, without doubt, the most disturbing of all journeys. _

_~Iain Sinclair_

"What's going on?" Morgan asked as Rossi stormed out of the office.

"No... idea?" Lily cocked her head to the side. She stroke her right shoulder lightly again. Reid frowned. _Didn't she do that when we were looking at bodies?_

"Agent Checkfield?" Lily jumped. It was Chief Strauss.

"Ma'am" Lily straightened herself and stood up.

"Come to my office. I need to talk to you."

"All due respect, ma'am..." Strauss started to walk away but paused. "I don't work for you."

"You do now"

"...What?" Lily's eyes nearly popped out. "I.. what?"

"You were transferred just few hours ago. You are part of BAU, now." Lily opened her mouth but nothing came out. "Think as being promoted."

"Promoted?" Lily finally barked out. "Promoted? You call this promoted? I'm not trained as profiler! I'm SWAT! You can't just take me away from the team! You just can't! Not away from MY team! And you guys just decided by yourselves to transfer me? Without asking me about it? Asking MY team about it?"

"Agent Checkfield!" Strauss yelled, stopping Lily. Lily was panting in fury. "You were once CID special agent before becoming SWAT. I believe you are fit for this job. And IF you value your team. You wouldn't have problem being taken away from them."

"Oh, yeah? What make you say that?" Lily challenged. Morgan and Reid watched her with their eyes wide open. They NEVER saw anyone act hostile toward Strauss so openly.

"You know if you stay with them, they will be in danger" That was blow below the belt. Strauss was right. She would only cause danger to her team. She just glared at Strauss. "And I AM aware of the fact that you don't have any profile training. But I'm sure you will learn quickly. You will be assigned to BAU"

"Is that all?" Lily asked.

"What?" Strauss asked back, startled at Lily's question.

"Is that all you wanted to tell me, when you asked me to come over to your office?"

"Yes"

"Then, if you will excuse me" she marched past Strauss. Strauss stood in the spot for a few seconds, little shocked at what just happened.

"Where's Lily?" Hotch asked as he walked out of his office. Morgan just shrugged. Reid was still staring at where Lily and Strauss were standing in shock.

"She is some girl." Rossi said in approving tone. Hotch raised his eyebrow.

"She is" JJ said with shocked expression.

"Where's Lily?" Hotch repeated.

"Uh-no idea... She is probably in la-lady's room or Gar-Garcia's room" Reid finally answered Hotch. Hotch shot a _did-you-tell-the-team-about-her _look at Rossi.

"Strauss was here" Rossi snapped, apparently still angry. Hotch looked toward the Garcia's room. The door was tightly shut and blind was drawn, making it impossible to see who was in there. He glared at the door for a while and went back to his office.

"Aww what's wrong, baby?" Garcia asked when Lily walked in and collapsed down into one of the chair.

"Strauss and I had a little talk just now" Lily shook her head bitterly.

"Uh-oh"

"Yeah..."

"What happened?" Garcia closed the door and pulled the chair in front of the distressed girl.

"I'm getting pulled away from my SWAT team and placed under Hotch." She said as she balled her hand into fist.

"That's... I'm not even sure if that's good or bad..." Lily rolled her eyes and glare at Garcia.

"Garcia. I'm getting pulled away from MY team."

"Well, yeah that's bad. But you get to work with us?" Garcia offered optimistically.

"I'm not angry about working with you guys. I'm angry about suddenly getting my team taken away from me." Lily sank deeper into her sit.

"Aww... I'm sorry, dollie" Garcia patted Lily's dark curly hair. They sat in the room full of computer screen while Garcia braided Lily's hair.

When Lily finally came back to the bull pen, everyone on the team turned to glance at her briefly but turned back to what they were doing. Lily quietly walked toward the white board that had pictures of the victims.

"What was the original profile that was given 11 years ago?" Morgan asked Hotch, who had case file on his hand but was staring at Lily.

"White male, around mid 20, well built. Probably from household where parents are separated and possibly abused as child. He might be impotent given his M.O." Hotch answered.

"But we couldn't find any suspect" Rossi added.

"Was there any connections between the victims?" JJ asked.

"We didn't find any back then." Hotch answered before Rossi could say anything.

"This unsub seemed to travel everywhere." Reid stepped back from map. Morgan and JJ turned to look at the tacks Reid had put all over the map. "Loo-look, he first started killing around upstate New York, 11 years ago. He stayed there a-and killed more for several months, then started to travel downward toward Pennsylvania, where he killed 10 more people, then 5 more in Maryland. Suddenly few weeks after that, he killed 3 in Phoenix, Arizona and 2 more in California, a week after. Now he is here." Young genius frowned and added after licking his lip quickly, "This unsub is trying to prevent from getting caught or following something."

"This unsub is going be pain in the ass" Morgan sighed and shook his head.

"We have to find the common factor in all the victims first. He didn't just go after them in impulse and killed them. He watched them before killing them." Rossi suggested.

"So he plans the attack?" Morgan asked.

"We are not sure about that. His choice of time to kill victims seems planned. We first thought he might be watching them for weeks before attacks but apparently the period between murder is sometimes less then a week." Hotch said as he crossed his arm in front of his chest.

"Okay, then let's look through the victims" Morgan picked up the case file again "First victim, family of 3. Steven Lawson, white, 44 years old, was former military guy, no significant task related to his job. Nice guy, never had trouble with neighbors. Mother was Korean married to at age 28. Daughter, adopted by before he got married. She was on her way to become dentist. She was good students at school and no criminal records. There's another daughter, Hannah, she was born 2 years after Mr. and married. She... doesn't have anything outstanding except for admission to mental hospital when she was 16, junior in high school. Second victims are..."

"Joyce Walden, white, 37 years old, mother of 16 years old high schooler, Alex Walden. Single mother, works at City Water company, one history of drug abuse but she came clean after having her daughter. Alex doesn't- didn't have any criminal record but she didn't do well at school.

"Next was family of... 6? 7? Family of Cambodian. Father, Dave Long, 49, construction worker. He divorced his wife, Linda Long after having 3 kids. He was alcoholic, and was reported for physical abuse. Linda did... almost anything for living. She was refugee from Cambodia. She has no criminal records. Their children, Vsna, Botum, and Carola all went to same school up until high school. They weren't home when their family got killed. Unfortunately, Jimmy, middle schooler with multiple criminal records, and baby boy, Ritchisak were there and got killed same way. Vsna was found dead in her home in NYC a week later with Botum who went to visit her sister. They both had no criminal record. Carola moved to California after that and she was the last one to be killed.

"And..." Lily was about to continue when she realized that everyone was staring at her. "What?"

"Is that all from top of your head?" JJ asked in surprise.

"Every single one of them and every single details are in my head." Lily nodded.

"Okay then... is there any common factor?"

"No, ethnicities are all different, ages, social status, body types, personalities and the state and number of criminal records are all different." Lily shrugged. Morgan noticed little nervousness in her voice. She wasn't telling them everything she knew. But he somehow felt like she will say something along the line of being classified or something, so he didn't say anything.

_Secrets are made to be found out with time._

_~Charles Sanford_


	5. Chapter 5

**_One who roams the channels after dark, searching for buried treasure_**

**_~Harriet Van Horne_**

* * *

><p>"What is he?" JJ finally complained by end of a week. This unsub didn't leave any evidence, any DNA nor any connections. He even hacked into the security camera and erased the footage if it was necessary. What was more odd was that he didn't kill more. Normally, serial killer would not just stop like this.<p>

Morgan also threw his case file on the desk. He rubbed his head and stretched, leaning back to the chair. The small white slumped object suddenly flinched next to him. It moaned and shifted. Morgan smiled looking down at it.

"Hey, Lily?" He shook small girl. She whimpered and turned her head away from him.

"How can she sleep at this situation?" Reid leaned over and poked her head gently.

"Hey, stop that" Garcia slapped his hand away from Lily.

"What?" He protested.

"Last time I checked, she was diagnosed with insomnia. Plus I rarely see her sleep." She patted Lily's hair lightly. "She look so cute and peaceful when she is a sleep..."

"She has insomnia but she is able to fall a sleep right now at this situation?" Reid frowned at Lily. Garcia scowled at him and gently shook Lily.

"Mmmm..." She groaned. "Five more minutes... Haley... I'm tired" Hotch looked up from his file with deep frown.

"Lily?" Morgan shook her. She suddenly stiffened and slowly opened her eyes.

"Morgan?" She stretched and rubbed her eyes lazily. She looked around and sighed. "Mm... I thought... Never mind..."

"You okay?" Morgan asked. Lily looked down at her feet with sad expression. "Talk to me."

"I thought I was back... when I had sleepover at Haley's..." Lily murmured. She quickly glanced up at Hotch with guilty face. BAU leader's face was not readable. She sighed.

"Back to case" He ordered.

"There's no evidence... There's nothing" JJ complained again.

"Only evidence he left is the card..." Reid murmured.

"Garcia, were you able to find any evidence of who hacked all those security footage?" Hotch asked.

"Whoever is hacking, he is covering his track really well. I'm sorry. No evidence." Garcia shrugged. "He is smart and skilled."

"Hotch..." Lily looked up but immediately dropped her gaze when she met piercing warning gaze from old agent. Rossi looked at them and shook his head.

"Let's call it a day and head home." Hotch pinched bridge of his nose. They all murmured and started collecting their belonging. "Lily, see me in my office before leaving."

"Yes?" Lily walked into Hotch's office.

"You know we can't talk about it." Hotch said firmly.

"Why?" Lily said in challenging tone. "Hotch, you know it might be the one information that they need to finding unsub!"

"Last time, it didn't help at all. What makes you think it will be different this time? Instead of helping you, the moment we tell them about who you are, it become public even if we try to keep it secret! After that it's just matter of time until he get's you! We can't afford that!" Hotch said firmly.

"But we can afford to let him kill other people?" She was screaming now. "Possibly, people around me! People I care!"

"Yeah, but losing you means, losing only one that hold information that we need to find unsub, like you said!"

"Hotch! I'm not a GOD DAMN profiler but I know this one bit! That is not the reason you are not letting me tell them who I am. You are just afraid that you might lose me like you lost Haley, or Emily. But Hotch! Can't you see what you're doing?" Her tone was almost begging now. "When I first met JJ, I asked what she think about you..."

* * *

><p>"<em>What do you mean?" JJ asked.<em>

"_I don't know... I... am his friend. Not his teammate. I'm curious how different he is at work"_

"_Well... He is... He once admitted that he was a drill sergeant and hard ass sometimes" JJ smiled._

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Wow. I can't imagine him being a drill sergeant but hard ass, yes, I can imagine that!" They both laughed at Lily's comment._

"_He also care about his team a lot. He trust us. And we trust him, too"_

* * *

><p>Lily shook the melancholy thought away and continued.<p>

"... JJ told me she trust you and they, the team, trust you but you are betraying their trust by withholding the important information from them?"

"It's to protect YOU!" Hotch yelled in frustration.

"I DON'T need protection, Hotch! I am-was one of SWAT's best division in Virginia! Not only that but I was their LEADER! I am NOT the little girl that needs protection like 11 years ago! I can protect myself!" Before Hotch could say something Lily turned around and started to walk out of the office. She saw the teams were all staring at the office wide eyes. She frowned and stormed down to grab her bag and left before Hotch could catch her.

"Man, what was _that?" _Morgan blinked. Reid just looked back and forth from where Lily left and Hotch who was standing on his office door now.

* * *

><p><strong><em>It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride<em>**

**_~anonymous_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Summer turned to winter_**

**_And the snow it turned to rain_**

**_And the rain turned into tears upon your face_**

**_I hardly recognized the girl you are today_**

**_And god I hope it's not too late_**

**_~Lost by Michael Buble_**

* * *

><p>Lily stormed out of the elevator as soon as the door opened. She fumbled through her bag trying to find her car key as she walk toward her car. She just couldn't seem to get it. She knew it was in there somewhere. She frantically went through it. She was already angry enough and really didn't need another stressor.<p>

"God Damn it! Where is my f-" She held her bag upside down and dumped everything on the ground, frustrated. Then she just threw her bag on the ground and lean against her car. She wanted to cry but her tears dried up long time ago and there was nothing left to come out of her eyes. She slid down slowly to the floor.

She just couldn't understand why all this is happening to her.

She never wanted this. Her life was perfect until her family was killed. Thing she didn't want to know was revealed to her. She was only 18 years old. She saw so many death. She saw the ugliest part of human. So many times she wondered if it was her fault. So many time she wondered if she died, everything would end. It was too much guilt to bear but she had no choice.

She was just starting to figure out how to deal with that guilt. She was also finally able to sort her emotions after 11 years and went on with her life.

Then this unsub returned. The wound that finally healed was slowly opening again. The memory she set a side burned into her brain again. The emotions she thought she sorted out squeezed her guts. Why? Why is this happening?

"Lily?"

* * *

><p>Reid walked out of the elevator when he heard something crashing into the ground. It didn't sound like heavy object but rather something like cellphone and pens. He frowned and look around. His hand automatically went to his gun. He carefully walked toward where he thought the sound came from. He found pens, cosmetic products, cellphone, and keys all over the floor near small red car. He could see someone's sitting next to the car with head hung low.<p>

"Lily?" He recognized who it was. Lily slowly turned her head and saw Reid standing horrified at the scene. "What happened?" He hurried over.

"No-nothing." She felt embarrassed. She didn't want anyone to see her broken like this. "I-I just couldn't find my key and got frustrated."

"Oh..." Reid knew there was more than that but didn't ask. Lily started to pick her stuff and put it back on her bag. "Here" Reid found her key and handed to her.

"Thanks." She avoided his eyes. She could feel her face burning. Reid helped her collect her stuff. She silently stood up when she was done collecting. She thanked him again and got into her car.

* * *

><p>Few more weeks has passed and the trail of the killer went cold. They were forced to move on.<p>

Lily was permanently transferred to the team. Even though her english skill lacked compare to other member, she was smart. As a woman and a person who was raised in 'Asian' standard, she had unique point of view.

Morgan watched Lily cautiously. He didn't want the little girl to feel left out from the team. She was like a little sister to him just like Reid was like a little brother to him. But Lily seemed to settle in the team okay. She occasionally had awkward moment and transition from friends to co-workers seems to make her feel weird. She already knew the members before joining the team so at least she didn't feel left out.

However, Morgan spotted her spacing out, sometimes frowning at something by herself. At first, he thought it was because of all the paper works that made her stressed out. Soon, he found out it wasn't the paper works. It was something else. He wasn't sure what it was.

She would be doing her paper work just like normal, looking through case file, or going through evidence then, suddenly, her eyes darted away. They seemed to focus on something that others can't see. Whenever that happened, most of the time, her expression was unreadable. When it was readable, there was so much to read that it was hard to translate.

Rossi glanced out at the bull pen and saw Lily looking through the file. He frowned. It was almost summer and she still wore long sleeves. He shook his head. He just couldn't believe that Hotch was not telling everyone about the girl.

* * *

><p><strong><em>The lie is a condition of life<em>**

**_~Friedrich Nietzche_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it_**

**_~ Ovid_**

* * *

><p>Morgan watched Lily for few more days. She seemed less friendly but it was understandable under the circumstances.<p>

Without a notice, she lost her team. Plus that, her friends suddenly change to her colleague. She might feel like she has to treat her friends more professionally, making her look little less friendly.

But she was adjusting fine. However, there was still one more little problem that was bothering Morgan.

When it was fifth time that Morgan spotted Lily spacing out, he stood up and walked toward her.

"Hey" Lily snapped back to reality by Morgan's voice.

"Yes? Need something?" She in stoic voice and sat up straight.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he tries to leaned on her desk.

"Yeah, I'm.. okay?" She gave him a confused look.

"You sure? You have been spacing out too often recently." He gave her worried look.

"Oh..." Guilty expression crossed her face. She looked down at her hands.

"Lily, I'm just worried" Morgan grabbed her chin so she would look up at his face. "Talk to me."

"It's nothing serious" Lily sighed. She reached over to her drawer and pulled out small orange bottle and handed to Morgan. Morgan gave her skeptical look as he took the bottle and looked at the label. "I have chronicle migraine. Most of the time, it is just minor throbbing but occasionally, it intensifies."

"So you space out because of migraine?" Morgan raised his eyebrow.

"No, I space out because of that medicine. Migraines occurs due to some abnormal activity in my brain. This medicine is suppose to reduce that activity and sometimes it reduces too much, making me space out." Lily shrugged. _Since when did Lily start to sound like Reid?_ Morgan raised his eyebrow.

"Since when did you have this migraine?" He asked.

"Uh... since... I graduated from high school..? Well actually, it sort of got better so I stopped taking medicine around 3 years ago."

"But you are taking it now"

"It came back several months ago." She sighed "Don't worry it won't effect my work." She added when she saw worried expression evidence on Morgan's face. Morgan wasn't worried about _that. _He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, JJ came over with the case file.

"Sorry to interrupt guys. Conference room."

Morgan gave Lily one more worried look and left. Lily sighed and cleaned her desk before following Morgan.

* * *

><p>Five bodies turned up at quiet suburb in Texas. Blond girls around 20 to 26 years old were strangled.<p>

It was first case for Lily with the team, if they don't include the case that brought her into the team. She sat next to Morgan, opposite of JJ. Lily didn't speak up at all when they went over the case file and bounced around with possible ideas. Rossi noticed she was wearing long sleeves again.

"Rossi, Reid come with me to check out the dump site. Rest of you go to the station and start working." Hotch finally divided up the team when they were about to land.

When they walked out of the plane, they were greeted by sizzling temperature and damp air. Rossi gasped at the heavy air and glanced over at Lily.

She was behind him. She just frowned at the light. Everyone was either taking off their suite jacket or rolling up their sleeves but she didn't. She let her shirt sleeves down and all the button secured. She had pulled her hair to the neat bun, though.

There was nothing notable at the dump site and they returned to the station. Morgan was reading through the report and JJ was talking to one of the detective there.

"Where's Lily?" Hotch asked after looking around. Rossi was wondering the same thing.

"Over here" Somewhat distracted voice came from behind the white board that was at the middle of the room. Rossi peeked around the board and found her looking up at the photos.

"Look at this mark on their neck. I'm not sure but I think it's belt buckle." She pointed out and tilted her head to the side.

"Belt buckle?" Rossi tilted his head to see what she meant. "I don't see it..."

"Well, it's definitely not normal belt buckle but the one that looks like a clip. Do you know what I mean?" Rossi shook his head. "Hm... this kind of belt is usually made out of fabric rather than leather. It has no holes. You slip the one end into the clip and adjust the length then _clip!_ I use to have it when I was little" She shrugged. JJ was with them at that point and was listening to Lily's explanation.

"You found something?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know I might have... The marking on the neck seems like a belt buckle that I have not seen it for very long time. I don't even think they make it anymore." Lily answered.

"Well, we can ask Garcia to look into it." Morgan said as he pulled out his phone. "Hey, baby girl. I need you to look into something"

"Go on" Garcia chimed.

"It's a kind of belt I believe it's not being manufactured anymore." Lily shouted over her shoulder.

"Hun, you don't have to scream I can hear you" Garcia pointed out. Morgan laughed when Lily's face turned red.

"Sorry..." She murmured.

"No prob. What kind of belt is it?" Garcia asked.

"Err... I don't know what they call it but it's a kind of belt that has clips instead of buckles. It's not the one with two semi-circle rings. It's more like... those clips on watch, I guess? I also believe those belts were only made for kids" Lily explained.

"That's the weirdest kind of belt I ever heard of" Garcia answered as she typed away.

"Did you find it?" Morgan asked after few seconds later.

"I am not sure if this is what she is talking about but... heeeeere's the picture" they heard the final tapping sound of the key board and an image popped on to the screen.

"Yeah, that's what I was talking about! See the clip here?" Lily pointed the buckle then to the photo, "It's consistent with the mark here."

"It does... We can't be sure 100 percent but it's possible." Morgan squinted at the photo "Garcia look for any place where it still manufacture or sell this kind of belt."

"Okie dokie! Garcia out!"

"You had weirdest belt ever" JJ said half jokingly.

"I was kid with IQ of two digits. I had bad hand coordination and I wasn't smart enough to work my hand around the belt." Lily shrugged.

"He has IQ of 189 and still has bad hand coordination." JJ nodded toward boy genius. He frowned at her.

"187" he murmured. JJ turned her head and gave him confused look. "I have IQ of 187, not 189"

JJ just shook her head unbelievingly and threw her hand in the air in defeat.

"You said you have IQ of two digits?" Reid asked unbelievingly and Rossi could not believe where this conversation was going.

"Yes, around 80 something. I'm not someone with supernatural talent. Only special thing I have is that I strive for knowledge. I'm hard working type." Reid opened his mouth to say something but before he could say, Lily said, "and I don't believe that intelligence can be measured." Thankfully with that, Reid closed his mouth.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I have nothing to declare except my genius<em>**

**_~ Oscar Wilde_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival._**

**_~ C. S. Lewis_**

* * *

><p>"So I looked through manufacturer who still makes those kind of belt. I cross referenced the list of buyer in that town with possible crime record. I found none." Morgan sighed in frustration when Garcia informed the team.<p>

"Thanks, Garcia" Lily hung up the phone. Another girl just went missing and the still didn't have any lead. They were getting frustrated.

"Hey, I just crossed checked with families of those girls and found out that they all went to same bar on the day they went missing." Rossi came in as he waved his notepad.

"What's the bar's name?" Hotch asked.

"Oasis"

"Lily, Rossi come with me." Hotch called out as he walked out of the station. Rossi and Lily followed Hotch.

* * *

><p>There was still sun outside and there was no customer in the bar. Blond woman was behind the bar cleaning cups and janitor was mopping the floor when two tall men with the suite and slightly shorter woman walked into the bar. The man who was sitting at the bar stood and said -<p>

"We aren't open yet."

"Don't worry. It will be quick. If you cooperate, that is." Rossi said as he flashed his credential and so did Hotch. Lily, however, fumbled with her wallet. Rossi stared at her with amused face. She noticed and murmured an apology with red face as she finally flashed her credential.

"Well. I'm the manager. What can I do for you?" The man asked.

"We would like to talk to someone who was working two days ago." Hotch requested.

"Well, Julie was working that night. Julie!" The manager called her over his shoulder. The woman who was behind the bar looked up.

"Yes?"

"These people have some question." The woman frowned at her manager.

"Yes? What can I do for you?" She walked around the bar and came toward them. Rossi noticed Lily stared at the woman in shock.

"Lily?" Rossi asked quietly under his breath. Lily just shook her head subtly at him.

"Ask again later" She said quietly as the woman approached them. Lily put on the poker face and crossed her arms in front of her. Rossi raised his eyebrow at her defensive stance.

"Have you seen this girl?" Rossi offer Julie a picture as he asked.

"Um... maybe..? I'm not sure. What is her name?" She squinted at the picture.

"Selena Madkins" Rossi answered.

"I'll be right back." She went behind the counter and looked through the machine. "Oh! Yeah I remember her now. She was the one who ordered .50 Caliber"

"She ordered what?" Hotch asked.

"It's a strong cocktail that has two kind of whiskey, gin, vodka and citrus soda mixed in it" Lily explained. Julie nodded.

"Was she with someone?" Rossi asked.

"Hmmm... Not when she came in and she didn't seem like she was waiting for someone. But this one guy bought her a drink and they talked. I think they left together." Julie said thoughtfully.

"Who was this guy?" Hotch urged. Julie raised her eyebrow and stare at them for few second.

"Look, I don't have problem giving you guys the name but I would like to know what this is about so I can get prepared for trouble I might get into by giving out the name." Julie finally said. Hotch glared at her but she didn't back down. "Last time when FBI agents came to talk to me, I gave them few names and they all turn up dead in few months. I would really like to know the reason this time."

"There had been murders" Lily answered. Rossi noticed her clenching her fists.

"Murders?" Julie looked at small girl.

"Yes. Blond girls has been murdered. They all seemed to have visited this bar. All on Thursday. Whoever took those girls kept them for four days and killed them. Selena has only 2 more days left until he kills her. This guy might be the one who is killing them." Lily explained.

Julie stared at them with shocked expression and soon started working on the computer again. "He was the guy who ordered the Pink Lady for that girl and he drank... White Russian... here he is. His name is Travis Hunt. Oh and one more thing... He did come in here quiet often past few months and sat on that corner where security camera can't get a view that well. He often picked out girls and bought them drinks. I don't remember if he left with them, though."

"Thanks." Hotch nodded and walk away.

"Your welcome and... Um... sorry for being so defensive just before" Julie said as she stared at her feet.

"It's okay." Lily put her hand gently on Julie's shoulder and left. Rossi nodded to Julie and followed Lily out too.

* * *

><p>"You okay, Kiddo?" Rossi asked when they arrived at the station. Hotch went off toward other team member as he called Garcia and they had private moment for now.<p>

"Yes... Well... No." Lily hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"I... know Julie."

"You know her?"

"Yes. Old friend of mine. But I'm glad she didn't recognize me." Lily smiled sadly to herself.

"Is it because you are afraid she would die, too?" Her head snapped toward Rossi and she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Why would she die?" She asked as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Kiddo, I know your real name isn't Lily" Rossi said as he grabbed her should gently.

"... you... remember" She finally spoke.

"Of course I do"

"How come you didn't..." she couldn't finish the sentence.

"Does it matter?" Rossi just shrugged.

"Guess not."

"So are you?" Rossi asked.

"What?" she apparently forgot the original question.

"Are you afraid she would die, too?" he asked again.

"Well. I don't think I'm scared she would die" Rossi stared at her skeptically at her answer "I'm serious. I'm not afraid of anyone's death. I have seen that so much already that it doesn't really scare me."

"Then what?" She looked at him like she doesn't know what he is talking about. "Lily, you are good at hiding your feeling but not good enough to fool the old experienced profiler. Something has been bothering you ever since you came into this team. You were friends with almost everyone in the team but as soon as you became part of the team you started to push them away. It could be seen as you trying to treat them more professionally rather than treating them as your friend. But you are acting _too professionally. _You are definitely scared of something that relates to people around you."

She bit her lips and her hand automatically went to her shoulder again.

"What I'm... afraid of is not death, others or mine. What I'm afraid of is losing people I love to_ that person_ again."

"That's perfectly normal. Why are you trying to hide tha-"

"No, Rossi. It's not same as what other people feel. Almost every single people I loved, cared about either died or left me because of him. I don't want that happening again. I will do anything to stop that from happening. Even that means I have to put distance between other people. Even that means death of me. I won't let him touch my friends." Her voice trembled as she spoke. Rossi was startled to see Lily's black eyes glowing with anger.

"Lily, anger will do no good." Rossi said gently.

"Good or bad doesn't matter anymore. I already swore to make that man pay for what he had taken from me." Lily turned and walked toward the team with calm face as if nothing happened.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst<em>**

**_~Walter Weckler_**

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like story is getting too corny... but oh well... lol<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**_For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather; to cheer one on the tedious way, o fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands_**

**_~Christina Rossetti_**

* * *

><p>As soon as Garcia called back with the address, JJ and Reid went to visit the house.<p>

JJ knocked the front door but there was no response.

"?" JJ yelled. Then suddenly, they heard the garage door open. Reid's hand flew to his gun as he watched the door opens slowly. Without a warning, gun was fired from inside and white van popped out. Reid and JJ ducked from cover. They could hear the squeal of the tire. When they got up, the car was gone.

* * *

><p>Team arrived at Hunt's house. Hotch, Morgan and local detective got off from the van<p>

"Are you guys okay?" Hotch asked as he approached the house.

"Yeah. We are fine." JJ nodded. "After unsub left, we checked the house and everything is clear." Hotch nodded and they all went in through the garage. It was the two cars garage. There were the tire marks on the right side of the garage. Left side of the garage seems to be the work place. They went into the house through garage and were greeted by very unexpected scene. The house was clean and organized except for a chair that was knocked over. There were food on the tables. Unsub probably knocked it over when JJ and Reid arrived. However, when they went to basement, they found completely different scene. It was finished basement and it wasn't dimly lighted like one from the horror movie. It was clean and bright but one of the walls were covered with photos.

"Oh my god... look at this..." JJ pointed to one of the photos. It was photo of one of the victims.

"How many photos are on here? How many girls did he killed?" Morgan asked in shock.

"Well there's multiple photos of each victims and not all the photo seems to be the victims..." Reid said as he point the photos. "Look. This is the photo of much younger girl and this photo seems to be older compare to that one."

"It could be the first victim." Morgan shrugged.

"Unlikely... same girl comes up in a lot of photos. In this photo, she looks to be around 16 years old. But look at this one. This is the photo of same girl at the high school graduation." Reid pointed out. "Guys. I don't think she is one of the victim."

Hotch pulled out the phone and called the number.

"Garcia, we need you to look up anyone related to Hunt." Hotch requested.

"I already did after giving you guys the address. There is none. However, I found out that he's real name wasn't Travis Hunt. He was adopted by Hunt's family when he was around 17. Before, he was in and out of the foster care. He's real name is Travis Reddick. On the record, it says he does not have any siblings." Garcia answered.

"You said he was in and out of foster care?" Morgan asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, baby girl, we are gonna send you a photo of a girl. Can you try to see if she was in the foster care with him before? Or see if she is one of his foster family? Or anything?"

"Sure, I will call you back as soon as I find something. Garcia out" Morgan sighed. He looked around the room. Unsub didn't take anything. There were no evidence that victims were in the house.

"There must be second location. Victims weren't here at all" Morgan gestured to the room.

"There was no other property that Travis owned except for this house" Hotch pointed out.

"Guys, we have to hurry. Now that he knows we know who he is, Selena might not have two days now." said Reid as he continued to look at each photo.

* * *

><p>Back on the station, Lily was rummaging through her bag when team walked in. Morgan walked toward her while rest of team talked to officers about what they have found.<p>

"You okay?" Lily saw Morgan's dark face and asked with worried voice.

"We found nothing. He escaped and there was no sign of victims every being kept there." Morgan explained in frustrated voice.

"I'm sorry" She said sincerely. She went back to her bag and finally found what she was looking for. Morgan noticed it was several pills and a bottle of water. One of the pills was for her migraine. However, rest of them he didn't recognize.

"Lily" He called her dangerously as he gripped her wrist. "Explain to me what these are?"

Lily blinked and looked back and forth from Morgan's gaze to his face.

"Hotch really didn't tell you guys _anything?_" Lily frowned.

"Tell us what?" Morgan asked. Lily sighed.

"Well, I guess there were no reason for him to tell you about these medicines... I... have several problems with my body. It was damaged when I was really young. My migraine and insomnia are part of it. Other than that, it doesn't effect my ability to work." She shrugged.

"It was damaged when you were young?" Morgan repeated.

"Yes, couple of older red neck boys in my village thought it would be funny to scare me while I was taking a walk in the forest. I ended up falling off the cliff. I survived but several parts of my body were damaged." She said as she threw the medicines in her mouth and swallowed it with a gulp of water. "Really, it's fine. These medicine doesn't effect my work. I made sure of that."

Morgan was opened his mouth but before he could say anything laptop beeped and Garcia appeared.

"All hail the tech goddess!" Garcia announced. The team stopped whatever they were doing and gathered around the laptop.

"Hey Garcia. Did you find anything?" Lily asked as she sat down.

"Well, I looked through all the database related to Travis Hunt, and tried to find who this girl is. I found nothing."

"Nothing?" Morgan sighed.

"Yes, nothing. HOWEVER! When I looked through the information about Travis Reddick, I found that he had one younger sister, Emily. The photo you sent me is definitely her."

"Good, do you know where she is now?" Hotch asked.

"No.. well yes." Garcia answered as she tilted her head side way.

"Which one is it? Yes, or no?" Lily asked with frown.

"She is dead. Travis and Emily went out on picnic together every year. However, a year ago, on the way to their usual picnic spot, their car crashed near Lone Elm park."

"That's the dump site for bodies." Lily pointed out.

"Oh there's more. Emily died due her seatbelt malfunctioning. The seatbelt chocked her to death." Garcia winced as she informed her teammates. "Travis was badly injured in the accident, too."

"That could have been stressor. Garcia, how badly wounded was Travis?" Morgan asked.

"He... was in the hospital for several months. The hospital record says he made a full recovery."

"Okay, after he came out of the hospital, he still can't accept the fact that his sister is dead so he abducted the girl who looks like his sister?" Lily asked confused.

"Something like that. He abducts and keeps them because he thinks they are his sister. That's probably why there was no evidence for sexual activities. He would never do that to his sister. Soon, he realizes they are not his sister and she is dead. So, he kills them like how his sister died. Then he leaves the bodies where his own sister died." Morgan explained.

"So he is replaying the tragedy over and over." Lily felt her stomach clenching as she concluded. Just like her, Travis is trapped in his past.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Do not dwell in the pst, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.<em>**

**_~Buddha_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_A tragedy need not have blood and death; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy_**

**_~Jean Racine_**

* * *

><p>"When you encounter Travis, he won't surrender nor go down that easily. He firmly believes that Selena is his sister, Emily. Don't try to arrest him or antagonize him. Just inform the others and wait for back up." Rossi briefed officers as they set out on the patrol to find Travis.<p>

Hotch insisted Lily to stay at the station but after few minutes of arguing, they came to compromise. Hotch would allow her to go on the patrol as long as she stays with Morgan and JJ.

* * *

><p>Morgan shot a amused smiled at Lily as she pout and sulk in the back seat.<p>

"Seriously. I'm not a baby! Why does Hotch always treat me like one?" Lily grumbled. JJ turned around gave her a motherly smile. "I mean really JJ! Do I act like a kid?"

JJ and Morgan exchanged a look.

"What?" Lily pouted.

"Nothing" Morgan smirked. Lily opened her mouth to protest, but the phone rang. Lily glared at Morgan and flipped open her phone. "Yes, Garcia?"

"Okay, I looked into any possible property he would have been using..." Garcia started.

"Wait Garcia, let me merge the call" Lily fumbled with the phone and quickly called Hotch. "Hotch, Garcia might have something"

"Okay, I found out that Emily owned a small warehouse on the outskirt of the town. It's suppose to be vacant. No one claimed after her death but my guess is that Travis has been there."

"Where is it?" Hotch asked as he stepped on the gas. As soon as Garcia gave them the address, Lily hung up and grabbed anything she could so she won't fly off the car.

* * *

><p>Lily gently pushed the door and found it unlocked. She looked at Morgan who nodded her in response. The door whined as it opened. Six lights darted around as the team entered the building. The corridor was long and full of doors. They all checked the doors as they approached the end of the corridor. Lily checked the door at the end of the corridor and it was also unlocked. She pushed it open and stepped it... or she thought she was stepping in. There was nothing underneath her feet. She gasped as her body dropped down. With loud thud, she hit the ground.<p>

"Lily!" Morgan whispered. He knelt down to see where she had fallen. Few steps on the stair were missing and there was no railing. She must have mis-stepped and fell off the stair.

"I'm fine... Watch your step" Lily grunted. She looked up as she rubbed her lower back. There, she saw someone. She gasped and raised her flash light, followed by her weapon. The person gasped and ran off. "STOP! FBI!" Lily screamed as she scrambled to her feet.

Morgan was carefully coming down the stair when he heard Lily yelled and started running after someone. He jumped down from the stair and ran after Lily. He could hear Hotch and JJ doing the same.

"I SAID STOP!" Lily yelled again. The person turned the corner and she followed. As soon as she turned the corner, something flew toward her. She ducked and heard Morgan grunt behind her. She didn't have time to turn around and check if he is alright because something shiny flashed in front of her. She jumped back and something grabbed her hand and twisted it behind her back. She felt her gun dropping.

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><p>"Damn it" Rossi cursed as he saw two men dart after Lily. They didn't go that far. Soon Rossi saw Morgan getting knocked over. Hotch ran next to Morgan to help him up while keeping gun pointed toward where they thought mystery person was. They heard Lily grunt and something metal dropping to the ground.<p>

Rossi finally found the mystery person holding Lily's arm behind her back and had a knife on her throat. It was clearly Travis.

"Who are you guys?" he asked in hoarse voice.

"We are FBI" Hotch answered.

"What? Why is FBI doing here?" Travis tightened his grip on Lily's arm. She flinched.

"Travis, I know this is hard, but your sister is dead." Hotch's voice was calm and gentle but Travis flinched as if Hotch was yelling.

"Wha-what are you ta-talking about? She was just wi-with me" Travis stuttered.

"Travis." Lily said gently as she touched Travis' hand that was holding a knife with her free hand. "Listen. Emily is dead. She died a year ago. Remember?"

"You shut up." Travis tighten his grip even more. Lily flinched but didn't stop talking.

"It was car accident-"

"Shut up"

"You guys got in the car accident while going to picnic."

"I said shut up"

"Travis, believe me. I know how it feels like to lose your family."

"Shut up! She is NOT dead!" Everyone tensed at the sight of red liquid start trickling down the knife.

"Travis... I know you must have felt so helpless when you saw Emily dying." Lily continued regardless.

"Shut up or else I will kill-"

"I lost my entire family and couldn't do anything, too." Travis flinched at Lily's voice. Her voice was honest and sad. "One day, someone came into my house and killed my family. I was there. I... just watched as he killed my family. I couldn't scream. I couldn't fight. I just stood there helpless as they died. I couldn't do _anything_"

Travis didn't say anything for a while. He just blinked and swallowed. He bit his lips and finally spoke.

"I... should have been paying attention while driving instead of getting angry at stereo."

"Travis-"

"I should have kept my eyes on the road!" tears started to trickle down Travis' face. He slowly lowered his knife and let go of Lily's arm. Hotch and others tried to slowly move in. Travis was still holding onto the knife and no one knew when he will try to use it again. Lily raised her hand and gave the team a look not to come near yet.

She turned and faced Travis fully. Travis flinched when he felt a gentle hand touching his face.

"It hurts. Doesn't it?" She whispered.

"What...?" Travis gave her puzzled face.

"The guilt. You feel like you killed her. It hurts so much that it immobilize you. You wish it would have been you instead of her." She stared into Travis' eyes. He stared back then suddenly, he broke down.

"Yes... it hurts..." Travis felt face crumpled like a dry withered leaf. Something in his stomach that has been there for so long, but he didn't noticed, started to come out of his mouth like vomit. This tiny girl in front of him touched deep inside of him and brought it out. The knife hit the ground with the saddening echos as something warm trickled down his cheeks.

Rossi quietly came behind him and gently cuffed him.

"Travis. I need you to tell me something." Lily asked right before Rossi started to take him away. Travis looked up with wet face. "Where's the last girl you took?"

"She... is in the basement... down... the hall...There's...a key in my...jacket pocket." He breathed out in between the sob. Rossi patted down Travis' jacket and found the key. Lily took the key and ran down the hall with Morgan.

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><p>Lily stood there watching ambulance wheel Selena away. Selena was dehydrated but she was overall fine. Lily sighed to herself and turned around to find Travis being taken away. Right before local cop tried to shove him in the car, their eyes met. They stared at each other for a long time. They both looked at each other knowingly about their pain until cop closed the door and drove away.<p>

"That was fast case. We found him even before we gave out the profile." Rossi said as he approached her. Lily didn't turn to look at him. Rossi frowned and said, "You know, that was dangerous."

"I know... but I also know what he was struggling with. I just wanted him to know that there's someone that shares his pain."

"So it hurts?" Rossi asked.

"What?" Lily gave the identical face that Travis made when she asked that question previously.

"Back there, you asked Travis that. But it sounded more like you are talking about yourself to me." Rossi commented.

Lily just looked down at her feet. "Yes, it hurts a lot. I once thought that physical pain will dull the sense of that pain in my chest but it turns out it won't..." She said as she raised her hand palm up and stared down at it. Rossi caught a glimpse of a scar around her wrist. She suddenly looked up at the sky as if she remembered something. She looked at her watch and walked away.

"Where you going?" Rossi asked. She silently turned around.

"To see Julie." Rossi raised his eyebrow at her answer. "Don't worry I won't tell her everything." She shrugged and started walk away.

"You know Hotch will be pissed at you." Rossi yelled after her.

"About Travis or Julie?" She yelled over her shoulder.

"Both!" Rossi had to yell louder over the sirens. Lily just waved her hand and walked away.

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><p><strong><em>There is no coming to consciousness without pain<em>**

**_~Carl Jung_**

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><p><strong>So it's the end of the first part of the story.<strong>

**The next one, "Scars from the past" will be up soon. I haven't started writing yet. But outline of the story is done.**

**Epilogue will be up soon too.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please read my next part of the series too!**


	11. Epilogue

A woman with dress shirt and black jacket walked in the dimly lit bar. There was gentle jazz music playing in the back ground. The woman looked around swiftly and proceed to a lady bartender.

"Cosmopolitan, please." The woman ordered. The bartender looked up and saw Lily smiling sadly at her.

"Oh, I heard you got the guy" Julie said as she poured vodka and other ingredients.

"Yeah." Lily shrugged.

"So, what's wrong?"

"Hm?"

"Something seems to be bothering you."

"... Julie... remember 11 years ago?" Julie froze.

"11... years ago?"

"... when your friends died" Lily said as she sipped her drink. Julie nodded carefully. "... One of your friends who is suppose to be dead is alive."

"...who?" Julie's eye grew to impossible size.

"Keep your voice down. I can't tell you who. She is under protection of FBI. But that's not why I'm hear. Listen... do you have any place safe you can go?"

"What?"

"Do you have anywhere you can go?" Lily repeated the question.

"Ye...yes I guess so. I'm pretty much can get job anywhere with my experience as bartender. Why?"

"... Leave this city. Go somewhere else and keep moving around. Don't stay in one place for more than a year. And if anything happen, here" Lily placed small piece of paper on the counter as she took another sip of her drink.

"Wh...why?"

"He is back... He has started to kill again... and your friend specifically ask me to tell you to hide and that she is sorry that she couldn't save Kevin" Julie looked at Lily with shock.

"It's... Hannah... isn't it?" Julie whispered. Lily just tossed back rest of her drink and left after paying.

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><p><strong>Next part will be up (hopefully) soon!<strong>


	12. Notification!

Author here!

I know some people have been constantly checking my profiles to see if I updated the next sequel of my fanfic. Unfortunately, I have not been updating.

I am college students preparing for transfer. It has been crazy trying to get all the application sort out, taking all those tests I have to take as an English as Second Language student and doing internship.

I also don't start uploading the story unless I'm half way through the whole series. Good thing is that I'm almost to the half way point of the stories.

I will be uploading the new story soon.

Here are some titles of the new story that are coming up.

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><p><em>Untitlted<em>(Law and Order SVU)

_Chasing Memories II: Scar from the past _(Criminal Minds)

_Vivi's past_

_Chasing Memories II: Chrysanthemum _(CM and NCIS)

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><p>You must have noticed that there is some fanfics that is NOT CM. However, those are related to Chasing Memory series (Did anyone noticed that Criminal Mind and Chasing Memory has same initial when shortened? I just noticed it :P).<p>

The story Viv's past doesn't really have any characters from CM nor SVU, BUT! The OCs that I created from Chasing Memories and SVU series are there tying up the story together and introducing the proper background of the stories.

I'm planning to make up the title for _Untitled_ and upload that first.

Even those who are not SVU fans, I recommend reading it if you wish to continue the series without getting confused. Later the characters like Vivi would appear and there will be no explanation of who she is, which will all be in other SVU series or Viv's past.

Also I apologize for the timeline. The Chasing Memory series take place in 2010 to 2013 (2013 is the year I plan to end the series).

Mean while the untitled one and Viv's past takes place in earlier year (Specifically 2000 and 1990 respectively). The SVU one will eventually catch up to 2010 and to current time frame so please keep in mind the time line.

Again I'm so sorry for delays but I will upload them shortly!

Author's out!


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